Weekly Update - June 15, 2026
🕷️ I’ve Become a Mother!
I never thought I’d live to see myself utter those words, but here we are. My darling spider child - Charlotte (as I’ve decided to name her), has brought me so much delayed joy. It’s funny, because at first I was tempted to kill her like I usually do with spiders, but she did the most adorable little dance with her little legs that I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. You win today, lil Charlotte. But you’ll have to watch your back.
🕹️ Neck-deep in Skyrim
If there are two things I never want to be without in my life, it’s lockpicks and cash. Both have eluded me far more than I’d have liked this week in Skyrim. In and out of Riften’s squalor, I’ve been scrambling to scrape together (sometimes literal) scraps - either for a few gold pieces, or a much needed pick or two. Ran out over ten times – yet every time I hear that click and a lock pops, I know I made the right choice. The Thieves’ Guild doesn’t exactly pay well, but the thrill of stealing from those who “absolutely deserve it” is worth more than gold to me.
And speaking of deserving… have you ever tried fighting someone who pissed you off SO much you felt a new emotion? It’s like… catharsis, but you could adequately describe it as “bitch-slapping morons”. I run into people like that all the time while adventuring (god, have you met Maven Black-Briar? She talked down to me even after she saw my skill), and being able to take out my anger is one of the best activities I could have asked for.
😭 Betrayal
I still can’t believe I betrayed Songbird. I don’t really want to talk about this one - it’s too soon. Next section please.
🦑 PRAEARCTURUS GIGAS
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN PRAEARCTURUS GIGAS? IT’S A HUGE SCORPION FROM 415 MILLION YEARS AGO. SORRY BUT THAT NEEDS TO BE CAPITALIZED.
🐭 R.I.P. Gertrude
Remember my little mouse buddy Gertrude? Well turns out, rats aren’t the only danger in my cafe. The sheer amount of poison I’ve been using to get rid of them might have accidentally found its way into some cupboards, and… Well, you get the picture. Little Gertrude will be missed, and I’ll pour one out for her next time I’m at the meadery.
🧀 Cheese
Oh, that reminds me. Please remind me to buy cheese the next time I’m grocery shopping, I’ve run out completely.